|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Oh Great and Magnificent Carnac…
|
|
|
If you’re old enough to remember Johnny Carson, you probably remember Carnac the Magnificent. Carson would put on that ridiculous giant turban, hold a sealed envelope to his forehead and, using his extraordinary divine powers, reveal the answer to a question he hadn’t even seen yet.
|
|
|
|
|
Well, Carnac is gone, but “CAR”nac the Magnificent is here. And instead of Johnny Carson, you’ve got me.
Yes, using absolutely no research, no artificial intelligence and certainly no scientific evidence whatsoever, I can divine your dream car simply by knowing your email provider.
I shall now hold your email address to my forehead… Hmmmmmmm… I see something.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
CARnac says: 1965 Ford Mustang
Before AOL. Before Yahoo. Before Gmail. There was CompuServe.
This was actually my first email account, so I have firsthand experience with this particular archaeological period of the Internet. Back then, you didn’t even get a proper email name. You got something resembling the launch code for a nuclear missile: 71234,567
If you had CompuServe, you remember when getting an email felt like an event. You probably owned a modem measured in baud, knew what a floppy disk actually was and thought 1 MB was an enormous amount of storage.
As I press the envelope to my forehead, I see something else in your future…a colonoscopy.
Your dream car is therefore a 1965 Ford Mustang. Pioneering, analog, simple and revolutionary. Thankfully, I’ve recently had both:)
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
New to this newsletter?
Don’t miss out—subscribe over there—->
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
@AOL.com…aka America Online
|
|
|
CARnac says: 1955 Chevrolet Bel Air
You remember when connecting to the Internet sounded like R2-D2 having a nervous breakdown—and when AOL CDs seemed to reproduce in your mailbox.
I press the envelope to my forehead again and the vision becomes clearer. I see cruising on a summer night, a yellow hot rod pulling alongside, and the sudden urge to settle things the old-fashioned way. The answer is clear: 1955 Chevrolet Bel Air.
Because you didn’t just watch American Graffiti. You wanted to be in it.
And CARnac senses there’s still an AOL installation CD buried in a desk drawer somewhere.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
CARnac says: 1963 Corvette Split-Window
You know exactly what you like and see absolutely no reason to change. Your email address has survived dial-up Internet, MySpace, the Blackberry and at least four phones you swore would be your last.
Someone asks, “Why don’t you switch to Gmail?”
You answer, “Why? Yahoo works just fine.”
I understand. That’s exactly why your dream car is a 1963 Corvette Split-Window.
Why mess with something that works?
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
CARnac says: Lamborghini Countach
I’m seeing your childhood bedroom. There is a poster on the wall. A Lamborghini Countach. Palm trees. And possibly a woman with extremely large hair.
You created your Hotmail address sometime around 1998 and refuse to apologize for it. Bonus points if your address includes numbers that made perfect sense when you were 23.
The image in my mind is becoming clearer…Lamborghini Countach.
And yes, technically Microsoft would prefer that we call it Outlook now. Nobody with a Hotmail address cares.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
CARnac says: Nissan Skyline GT-R R32
I’m seeing something…Japanese, turbocharged and almost certainly parked at a Cars & Coffee with the hood open.
If your email ends in @gmail.com, CARnac predicts your dream car is a Nissan Skyline GT-R R32.
You grew up with Gran Turismo, know what “Godzilla” means without Googling it, and have spent an unreasonable amount of time explaining to someone why a right-hand-drive Nissan is absolutely worth more than their new SUV.
You don’t want something your dad had.
You want something your dad didn’t understand.
CARnac’s divine prediction: You want an R32 GT-R in a proper JDM specification, preferably with just enough modifications to make the purists uncomfortable.
And somewhere in your browser history is the phrase:
“R32 Skyline for sale USA.”
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
CARnac says: Mercedes-Benz 300 SL Gullwing
Sophisticated. Organized. Understated. I see…folders. Lots and lots of folders.
You may even know what the “Rules” button does. Your dream car is elegant, historically important and beautifully engineered: Mercedes-Benz 300 SL Gullwing.
I’m also sensing something else. You’re reading this newsletter at work. Get back to work.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
CARnac says: Ferrari 250 GT California Spider
Design matters. Your phone talks to your laptop, your laptop talks to your watch, and your watch talks to your headphones.
Unfortunately, none of them can explain to your spouse why you need another car.
I press the envelope firmly against my forehead. I’m seeing beauty. I’m seeing Italy. I’m seeing something extraordinarily expensive…Ferrari 250 GT California Spider.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
CARnac says: Singer 911
Interesting. Apparently even your email address needed to be bespoke.
A normal Gmail account wasn’t good enough. Neither is a normal Porsche 911. You want something personalized, beautifully executed and subtly different enough that only the people who really know will understand how much money you spent.
You didn’t create an email address. You commissioned one.
There’s only one answer: Singer 911.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
CARnac says: Whatever Car Is Open in Another Browser Tab
I’m having trouble seeing your dream car. Wait…the image is becoming clearer. It’s…whatever car is currently open in another browser tab.
You’re supposed to be working. Instead, you’re looking at a Ferrari 308 with 62,000 miles and telling yourself, “The service records actually look pretty good.”
You’ve already checked the values. You’ve calculated shipping. And Hagerty Marketplace is minimized at the bottom of your screen.
Close the tab. Actually…send it to me first.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Now I need to put my divine automotive powers to the test.
Hit REPLY and tell me your first email provider, your current email provider and your actual dream car.
Let’s see just how accurate CARnac the Magnificent really is.
I especially want to hear from the CompuServe crowd. There can’t be that many of us left.
CARnac (aka Greg Stanley)
|
|
|
|
|
#CARnac #TheCollectorCarPodcast #CollectorCars #CarHumor #DreamCar #ClassicCars #CarCulture #CarEnthusiast #CarCollector #AutomotiveHumor #CarGuys #CarsAndCoffee #Porsche911 #Porsche #Mustang #Mercedes300SL #Ferrari #LamborghiniCountach #HagertyMarketplace #YouveGotMail #CompuServe #AOL #Hotmail #Gmail #EmailNostalgia #TheCARnacKnows
|
|
|
|
|
|
“See A Kid, Give A Book” Campaign
|
|
|
One of my favorite parts of The Enthusiast’s Guide project is my “See a Kid, Give a Book” campaign. The rules are pretty simple: at select car shows and events, if I see a young enthusiast genuinely checking out the cars, I may hand them a free copy of the book. There are, however, a few important rules. The kid must actually be there.
No phone calls, emails, or carefully rehearsed stories about your 12-year-old nephew who loves collector cars and would just happen to really appreciate one for Christmas. Nice try. That’s not the campaign—that’s called Christmas shopping, and fortunately, I know a guy who sells the book:) The goal is to reward the kids who show up, wander the field, ask questions, and remind us that the future of the collector car hobby might be standing right next to us.
The Enthusiast’s Guide to Collector Cars is available here and online through Amazon, Walmart, and Barnes & Noble, making it easier than ever to encourage the next generation of enthusiast. Stay Driven, Greg Stanley
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Then catch up on some of my previous blogs:
As always, thanks for listening, watching, reading, liking and sharing fun automotive content. I will talk to all of you this Thursday on The Collector Car Podcast.
Greg Stanley
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
